Saturday, September 21, 2013

Hi. Would you like to buy a vacuum?

I've been putting off writing on this blog for a variety of reasons, but one reason definitely stands out above the rest:

Dude.  Is there any way to create a blog for promoting your writing WITHOUT sounding completely obnoxious?

Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying everyone's writing blogs are obnoxious.  Most of the other writers seem to hit the right mix of professionalism vs marketing vs interesting.

I'm just saying that I couldn't seem to do it.  Every post I came up with sounded like the worst kind of door-to-door salesman.  Hi.  Would you like to buy a vacuum?  Would you like to buy some chocolates for my school team?  How about some pamphlets?  HERE.  TAKE SOME PAMPHLETS.


Here's how it's going to go:

Hi.  My name is Calandra North.  Actually, as I'm sure you guys can probably guess, my name isn't really Calandra North.  That's just the pseudonym I'm writing under, because there ain't no way in heck I'm telling my friends and family that I've begun writing erotica.

It's not that I have anything against reading/writing erotica - it's just that I come from a fairly conservative background.  I'd rather write without feeling like my mother is breathing down my neck, reading every word I type.

I don't know about you, but my mom does NOT have a role in my fantasies.  I know there's a whole bunch of psuedo-incest stuff out there, but my parents are not the kind of people who inspire that kind of daydreaming.

And you know what?  I'm totally okay with that.

Anyways, in addition to hiding from my family I'm also trying to keep my two writing personals separate. I write for an international magazine, and I'm about 3/4 of the way through a "normal" book that I'm hoping to submit to publishers come this spring.

In the interest of transparency, here are the details that I think will interest people - yes, I'm actually a woman.  I'm in my early 30s, happily married, have two kids, and I live over here in the Pacific Northwest.

I like long walks on the beach, and romantic candelit dinners...

Naw, I'm just kidding you.  I do like to hike, but my favorite dinner is the whatever I don't have to cook.  I'm active, have a dog, a horse, a dirty car, and a love of laughter.

I've already published two stories, and they're selling better than I expected:

And now, if you'll excuse me.... I've got a dirty little scene tickling around the edges of my mind, and I'm in the mood to go write it down.

Happy reading!